Well, I am a missus. It’s strange, but then it’s not so strange.
I think when you are in a relationship with someone for a while marriage doesn’t really feel that different. The only major differences that I pick up on are
– giggling when he calls me “my wife”
– trying to practice my new signature
– actually feeling like my thoughts and feelings are now shared by someone else. This is great!
Our wedding took a long time to plan and organise, and the main reason for this was MONEY.
Weddings are FUCKING EXPENSIVE! They are great though, at the same time, and the days leading up to and the day of our wedding I would not try and reimburse at all.
It was brilliant. I loved every single minute of it.
It was completely and utterly the perfect day – much more than I could imagine.
I think reflecting on it now and wanting to share things with you I can revel in the brilliancy of the day, but what I want to do is perhaps give some advice when planning, preparing, and putting together a wedding. I certainly learnt a LOT.
A wedding is just ONE day in your life, but it should be special and a reflection of your relationship. Just don’t let it take over, and make sure your partner is equally represented! Nic and I got engaged in June 2010, and pretty much from day one I started researching the wedding and the prospect of getting married. The reason for this? I was TERRIFIED of getting married. The idea of standing up and walking around in front of people terrified me, and the thought that not everyone at the wedding would be having fun scared me. So this was a resounding theme: What ever we did was not going to be a spectacle, and it was going to be FUN.
Guests’ feedback from our wedding was that it was genuine, moving, a true reflection of us, and heaps of fun. I was so SO happy when I heard people had had just as much fun as I had.
Quite by mistake, our wedding encorporated a lot of DIY, as some things did not work out. DIY is the BEST Way to save you money. Not spending $30,000 was paramount for us – that is the average cost of getting married in New Zealand these days. There are lots of things that you DO have to pay for, but given we had a destination wedding, we were both somewhat pleased that we perhaps spent $15,000 all up. Also in saying that, I did make some mistakes along the way – paying money for some things that we did not want and changed our mind (my dress, Nic’s ring). I think it is important to not go in and buy the first thing you see. Trust me, you will find something better. I managed to turn the drama of picking the wrong dress in to a positive – my bridesmaid wore the dress I have initially bought (with some clever alterations from my gran)
I am so glad we did this – she looked SO beautiful!
So, although I thought I had blown the budget (her dress cost $850), it was salvaged, and she was willing to buy the dress off me for part cost. My grandma really saved the day, as she altered the bridesmaid dress and made my dress. My grandma is 86 by the way and a total trooper. What would have cost me thousands in a store cost me a couple of hundred, with much more meaning than I could ever have dreamed for.
It is important to be realistic and responsible with your money. I’m not going to say “budget”, because I don’t think you can say “I am going to spend $1500 on ____” and then follow through with it. I know I can’t do that. Whatever is spent, is spent. Just be realistic. I found out two weeks before our wedding that I was going to experience a huge cut in my work hours and we would have no income for the summer months. this meant I cancelled some appointments (yes, you CAN do your own nails) and tightened the purse strings a little (we will take our honeymoon when we can afford to do it properly). I did not have to sacrifice a lot, because we had been paying off the venue for over a year. I highly reccommend doing this. Getting a mock invoice and chugging away at it is VERY helpful. We even did a little work at the venue, doing some painting, and that helped a little, too.
see that fence? yeah, we painted that.
Other things we saved money on:
– our friend was our photographer
– my friend was my hairdresser
– we had a few family members give us some financial gifts
– I gave myself facials and did my own nails
– I bought our chair bows
– I made our party favours
So, time is your friend. Having time to sort and source and find goods will really help. Your world will not end if you can’t afford a light up dance floor. You will still look beautiful if you cancelled your appointment for eyelash extensions (yeah I did that).
So, I will keep writing about our day and whatever questions you might have. If your day is coming up or if you just want to know more, I am more than happy to help!
Keep a level head and have fun with it!